Today marks 5 weeks since the end.
The first few weeks were awful, but we’re okay now.
There is nothing worse than just wanting life to get back to normal, especially after you were so excited for how it was about to change.
Have you ever felt that feeling in the back of your throat like you’re going to throw up?
How long did it take for that to go away for you?
Or for you not to cry every time someone asked how you were?
Because I think this might be the first week for me.
Going through this made me realize that we all go through something, and by looking at someone, you would never know they just lost a baby, or a job, or their favorite item.
It’s crazy how you can look at someone and see them smile but not know that they’re currently in the darkest time of their life.
A positive note about being a month away: my love for coffee is back.
Ohhhhh how I missed coffeeeee.
I was only allowed to drink decaf and let’s be honest, who really enjoys drinking decaf?
Oh how I forgot how good coffee is.
And now for some reason I only want iced coffee?
Whatever, I’m just glad I got my taste for it back.
And right in time for pumpkin spice!?
I’ll be a basic bitch, I don’t care, just give me all of the pumpkin spice!
Let me do you a favor if you go to Starbucks:
Grande iced chai tea latte
3 pumps chai
2 pumps pumpkin sauce
Pumpkin cream cold foam
Thank me later.
Pumpkin pie in a cup and I drank two yesterday within two hours. Not even sorry about it.
Soo good.
Also, working out again.
During my pregnancy I had morning sickness 24/7.
My first two pregnancies were so easy I didn’t even know I was pregnant until my second and third trimester for both of them.
Not this one, my stomach let me know IMMEDIATELY.
Oh my gosh I never knew it was possible to be nauseous all day and night but the Lord definitely let me learn the hard way.
I do not miss that at all.
I also didn’t miss working out.
That was not good at all.
But I almost would take that over working out.
How do I get to the point of enjoying waking up two hours earlier just to do something I always hated?
Like how do people get over that??
We’re running now.
One of our twins started cross country and wants to run everyday and we figured the best time was to wake up before Jesus to run at 6am.
Look, I only run if I’m being chased.
This is HARD for me.
Today I forgot my bug spray, my headphones, forgot to fill up my Camelbak, like, y’all, I was the owner, driver and passenger of the struggle bus this morning.
But we got it done.
And I’m honestly SO proud of myself.
Let me give you a breakdown of my day so far:
6am-6:30am Woke up and did affirmations
6:30am-7:30am Ran
7:30am-8am Home to make lunches then drop-off at school
8am-10am Cleaned the house, made breakfast and did laundry
10am-12pm Got ready for work
12pm-5p Worked on a case
5pm-6pm Grocery shopping for cross country and dinner
6pm-8pm Cooking dinner and cleaning
8pm-> Tv and hangout with the family before falling asleep to Tik Tok videos
Okay it’s only 1:34pm now and I’m clearly not working THAT hard and the rest after this hasn’t yet happened but I’m optimistic.
Maybe bad things happening can be for good?
I never ran, or woke up early or even did affirmations
Simple things and I’ve never done them.
Because my excuse was that I never had the time to do it.
I even went back to church in these last few weeks.
My relationship has never been better.
I love my kids in a whole new light that I never knew possible.
Maybe rock bottom wasn’t so bad.
Thank God for, well, God.
And good coffee.
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